You’d think I’d be flattered, wouldn’t you? Boys show romantic interest in me. Isn’t that a compliment?

Or is it an insult?

A you seem like a cool and pretty girl, but not cool enough to be my friend insult.

See. I meet these guys at networking shit. We talk and joke about writing, movies, the industry. I think we might be on the path to becoming friends. Then they find out I have a boyfriend and disappear.

Or, worse, they pretend they want to be friends while trying to work the long con–the, I know she has a BF but they might break up one day game.

It’s confusing for me. I don’t expect men to think of my romantically. In my head, I’m an awkward, overweight 17 year old. No matter how many forays I have into modeling or hostessing, I feel like that awkward 17 year old girl.

I wear T-shirts and converse. I have short hair. I wear glasses. How can boys possibly be interested in me?

I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face anytime one of these guys starts to like me. I’m good for nothing but my pretty face and slim figure (brought to you by yoga and food allergies). And my ability to be a girlfriend or sex partner is much more important than any writing ability I may have.

It’s like my friend told me: you’re a cute girl. You’ll be able to get guys to help you out.

And that’s the only reason why.


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