No, I Will Not See Your Movie

I will not see it in a theater. I will watch it on Netflix. I will not Rebox it. I will not watch it on TV, not even at the gym, not even if all the other channels are the food network.

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A VIRGIN! How scandalous.

I’ve fucking had it.

We’ve got a guy. He looks somewhere between 16 and 25. And his great crime–a horrible embarrassment–is that he has never put his penis in a woman’s vagina. What if someone found out he’d never have sex. They’d never speak to him again, right?

Cue eyeroll. Could movies PLEASE stop trying to convince us that teenagers are obsessed with “losing it.” Teenagers don’t want to have sex because they are ashamed of their virginity. They want to have sex because IT’S FREAKING SEX, and everyone the media and adults say suggests that sex is awesome.

Because, obviously, if there is a teenage boy all he will care about is SEX and BOOBIES. And if he’s never touched boobies, touching boobies will be the only thing in his life that matters. His friends–just kidding, virgins aren’t allowed friends–will mock him endlessly for never putting his penis in a vagina. Can you image? Never putting his penis in a vagina… jeez, what a loser.

I’m not at all surprised that the adult woman in the movie is a stripper. Strippers are stereotyped as feigning sexual interest in men for money. Strippers are stereotyped as being damaged goods–molested children to turn into sluts as teenagers.

For a teenage boy not having sex is the worst social status imaginable. For an adult woman, taking charge of your sexuality is the worst social status imaginable.

Sexist stereotypes like this hurt boys as much as they hurt girls. Boys are expected to want sex all the time, at the expense of anything else. Girls are expected to feel no desire, to only have sex as a gesture of love and kindness.

Is it any wonder it’s so hard to have a sexually fulfilling relationship?

It’s okay to want sex, or not want sex, whether you are 16 or 60, male or female. And it’s okay to have sex, or not have sex, for any reason you choose. It doesn’t make you a freak. It makes you a human being.

 

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